Unpacking The Heart.

Sleep, the night, the knife didn't take me, so I unpack. The books, the information and lastly the case of evidence. Three of Brian's bland blonde pit hairs. I never got near enough for pubes. Smiddy's chewing gum, Kim's rail tickets now there was a boy who could lose his head when all around him stayed sane.

Davie's demo, Larry's essay, Jaf's contempt stays in my head. These arent notches on my bed post they're scars. The night Jose fucked Laura on my bed I slept on the floor and scarred the titties with a Bic. Only scratching the surface. That's it with the self harm game. You never get deep enough to cut out the cancer, or if you do you die. Not that I wanted him, I just didn't want her to have him. What can I say I was alone dumped and bitter.

My heart never broke, it iced over. Remove from it the carnage and throw it to safety like a brides bouquet hitting concrete. Run away, if only I could. Let it shatter and rain down into you all and poison your fish. Sixteen pages from Emma Christie's diary. Jennifer is ugly, Jennifer is a slag, Jennifer eats with her hands, Jennifer is trash, Jennifer is a benson, Jennifer is a psycho. She makes me look good, that's why I allow her to speak to me. Sixteen hairs from a dead whores cunt. I stick them to my chest and make the bitch call me Martin.

Ha fuck you big beak fucked three of your men and gave your dad a KB. Did you really imagine Beryl was his only go at adultery? Fuck Face. Big Beak. Fat Arms. Fat Arse. Uh huh. I am the Elvis of slags.

Andy got the bloody sheet. Except I never bled so we did it again to make sure I was really broken. I could have mentioned that I broke my own hymen ages ago but I didn't want to spoil the mood. In any case butcher boy raped and pillaged between our fucks. The right wall of my cunt still burns when I'm angry and I'm fucking raging all the time.

Lawerence's skull cap (nicked) -look it was anthropology OK. Beside I dress up as a Jewish boy in private and masturbate to the collected speeches of Chairwoman Mae West. If you believe that you'll believe that I communicate with Al Jolson via email. Look he was a bet.

Lt Gavin's gun. Ha my arse he offered me a union flag but I asked for a gun. I pissed on it and he chucked me. I never was an army wife and in any case I didn't know it was from Goose Green. It said 'Made in Taiwan on the label.

Jamie can't come to the phone, he's in the garden with his father. So out of my league there. Not to mention bored.

I won't have a word spoken against Scott. What he lacked in dick, he had in balls. Didn't stop him stamping me into the dirty, bloody ground. Craig was an expensive rent boy with a lean but useful cock and sod all between his ears. The other Craig was better. Kian is the king of oral and if you can't see your name here it was the drink but the drunk driving boy with the tea towel is the best fuck in the world.

Louise served her purpose, broke down and died.

I think it was Professor Benatar that said love is a battlefield.

I am the general.